I am a firm believer in the power of cathartic writing - just letting the words, the thoughts, the emotions, pour out of you and onto the paper (or screen, as it were). I strongly advocate journaling/blogging to anyone I am close to - and obviously, I engage in it myself. With Ang, we use blogging as way to...check in with one another. Sometimes in the midst of a discussion where both parties have a tendency to intellectualize when they feel at all defensive, things go from happy and productive to educational and removed, and emotions get left by the wayside. That said, writing is a good way to say those things that aren't always so easy to say face to face or in real time. As the intimacy level of the immediate exchange rises, so it gets more difficult to say things that you worry might cause discomfort or distress to your partner. Its easier to journal than to chat, easier to chat than to voice, easier to voice than to skype, and easier to skype than to be face to face - although there, you can *reach out and touch someone*, and that tends to cure most ill feelings...
There has been a lot of journaling going on over the past month or so. As Ang and I re-learn one another and reconnect on multiple levels, there are a lot of issues that arise and are hashed out, on a daily basis. There is much more often joy and pleasure and absolute bliss at simply being in one anothers' presence.
While we are journaling frequently, others are as well. I could write a dissertation on that topic, but I won't. I will simply quote Shakespeare (or Harry Potter, depending on your level of culture) by saying "Truth will out..."
Instead, I use my blog to write about things that matter to me. Things that are important to me. Things that affect me and effect my present and future happiness. As I state on my profile, credit for my happy goes to Angela - my "co-conspirator to breaking all manner of blue laws". My Angela - My kitten, My Princess, my Queen, My Love, My Soulmate, my past, my present, and my future.
We have tested, pushed, and surmounted many limits - to amazing effect - in the past few weeks. We've learned that two switchy people with control issues can not only work together and cooperate, but do so seamlessly and beautifully. We've learned that tables turn at a moments' notice, and we ride the waves together and come out in one another's arms. We've learned that past scars can still ache and even bleed from time to time, but its nothing that communication and reassurances won't repair. We've learned that even when we might think we are on opposite ends of the spectrum, we are a lot closer than either of us knew - and a lot more similar. We've learned that boundaries only exist to protect ourselves from untrustworthy others..but when two people have pure and absolute trust in one another, boundaries have no place, and no further use.
Perhaps most importantly, we've learned that when you truly love and care about another person, and they love and care about you, you fight for one another. You don't give up, you don't walk away. You KNOW within your heart of hearts that what is best for the both of you is to be together, and you fight like hell everyday to make it work.You build one another up, enhance each other, celebrate victories together and mourn defeats, working together to *get it next time*. Never should a phrase amounting to "You're not good enough...you're not what I want...you're not enough for me..." come out of your lips. You love. You live. You protect. And in so doing, you create your own happiness.
So, in closing, I will just add...Life is wonderful, and I have never been happier or more hopeful for the future.