Kitty Korner: Visions

I admire people who see themselves clearly - not just clearly, but accurately, as the world sees them.  They throw out so easily who they are in life, ever cognizant of their identity.  The cynic in me disparages them as unoriginal hacks, parroting the the age-old song about embracing your inner dichotomies: "I'm a bitch; I'm a mother; I'm a child; I'm a lover; I'm a sinner; I'm a saint."  That part of me is just jealous that I cannot do the same with ease.

I have never possessed that accurate self-awareness.  One look into myself and I see all the flaws, faults, and weaknesses.  I see cracks in the veneer, chinks in the armor, and two halves that never quite made a whole lot of anything, that was until I came face to face with my bright mirror.

---Back Story---

I've been spending a lot of time with K, lately. Spending time seems to be a gross understatement, implying casualness and passiveness. My time with K has been anything but.

The story has been told before.  We met about 100 years ago SLT, okay more like 5ish RL years. During the course of those 5 years, we wove in and out of reach others' lives, a constant dance, back and forth, together and afar, right to the edge of falling, but never quite letting go.  Through stints online and absences away, we always managed to pick right back up where we left off, as if time had not passed, stronger and closer realer than before.

I most recently returned, prodigally, if you were ask K, about 3 months ago, from an extended SL absence.  He and I reconnected again, as if no time had passed - except it had. He had this whole life I wasn't sure where I fit.  I felt on the outside, nose pressed to the glass, observing this wonderful cozy fairytale. 

I can't speak for K, but my feelings were a slow boil - a nameless rumble within - occasional bubble of heated emotion that would rise up within me. I found myself watching the tender moment and felt like an invader, then it'd bubble "I want that." An intense gaze exchanged, another bubble, "I want that."

Over the next few months, like evolution, "I want that" became "I want him" became "I need him."

Sadness and endings pull people together; it pulled us together.  Exhaustion from sleeplessness and maintaining pretense resulted in a stray comment, a long, honest discussion, and the rest is recent history, granted, not without its share of drama.

It's been told before, our story. K's spun that yarn in many colorful ways. I love the intense, fated way he tells it, his timbre pitching and falling at key peaks and valleys.  I can almost see his face when he tells it: animated, passionate, rapt.

So why am I bothering when his version is so perfect? Simple: he asked me to.  Besides, I am circling back to my point.

---The Point---

K spends a wealth of words itemizing how I have made him stronger and happier. It's sweet, and I'm glad he feels that way, but I think, in reality, it's a mere fraction of what he does for me.  Among many things, he reflects for me the good, no the "wonderful and amazing." 

Hot-tempered is reflected as passionate. Manipulative and pushy as seductive and magnetic.  Possessive is sexy, not scary.  Insatiable is a compliment, not a complaint.  He quiets the inner voices of doubt and shines his bright light into the darkness I feel.  He sees the fragile, the soft, and the vulnerable as well, and embraces it with tender care.  Everything I feel for and with him is intensified, magnified, and amplified.  He makes me feel loved, wanted, appreciated, and normal.  He has woken me from a slumber and set me free. 

Through his lens, photographic or otherwise, he captures a better me and I can't help but love him all the more for it.  He is my bright mirror.  One look at myself through his eyes and I know that at his side, at his feet, sprawled across his chest; that's where I belong. 

Sweet Reflection

Hair: Moon - Storm

Skin: Glam Affair - Amberly - Jamaica Clean BL

Shape: Mine

Body, Hands, Feet, Nails: Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara with Medium Baby Pink Nails

Eyes: {LOBA} - Real Eyes Infinity - Blue

Make-up: Blacklace Beauty - Dreamy Shadow - Gold

Lashes: *BC Designs* Free Mesh Eyelashes (set 1 and 2 worn together)

Nose Piercing:  JCNY - Saryh - Hyper-Gems - Diamond Nose Piercing

Earrings: ~Raven Parnas~ Sterling Silver Large Hoop Earrings

Collar: [Tethered] - My Heart Is Caged - Eternity Diamond Collar

Dress, Wreath, Armbands: Luas - Tyene White Sheer

Anklets: Poison Jewels - Shades of Summer

Through the Looking Glass

Hair: Updo - Analog Dog - Olivia - Light Blondes (worn with shoulder piece)

Skin: Glam Affair - Amberly - Jamaica 04 BL

Shape: Mine

Body, Hands, Feet, Nails: Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara with Medium Baby Pink Nails

Eyes: {LOBA} - Real Eyes Infinity - Blue

Lashes: *BC Designs* Free Mesh Eyelashes (set 1 and 2 worn together)

Nose Piercing:  JCNY - Saryh - Hyper-Gems - Diamond Nose Piercing

Mouth Piercings: Punch - Level I

Earrings - ~Raven Parnas~ Sterling Silver Large Hoop Earrings

Leg Corset Piercings: Fucking Lovely - Leg Corset Piercing

Collar: [Tethered] - My Heart Is Caged - Eternity Diamond Collar

Cuffs: {Peachy} - Cutie Cuffs

Dress: Anoircre - Fable Dress - Blue

Shoes: KC - Alyss

Shattered

 Hair: Exile - Like Lovers Do - Vanilla (without shoulder piece)

Skin: Glam Affair - Amberly - Jamaica Clean BL

Shape: Mine

Body, Hands, Feet, Nails: Maitreya Mesh Body - Lara with Medium Dark Red Nails

Eyes: {LOBA} - Real Eyes Infinity - Blue

Blindfold: Ama - Tease Me Set - Blindfold - Noir

Lashes: *BC Designs* Free Mesh Eyelashes (set 1 and 2 worn together)

Make-up: Blacklace Beauty - Visage Glitter - Smoke

Nose Piercing:  JCNY - Saryh - Hyper-Gems - Diamond Nose Piercing

Earrings: *Miam Miam Jewelry* Round Crystal Chandelier Earrings

Collar: [Tethered] - My Heart Is Caged - Eternity Diamond Collar

Lingerie and Stockings -  Maai - Freya - Red

Shoes: KC - Firenze